I Hate Myself For Losing You
by LyG4ever
Summary: “Are you okay?” she asked gently. The urges of telling her everything rushed through her mind as the girls exchanged glances. Oneshot. Songfic.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or anything related to it. The song 'I Hate Myself For Losing You' belongs to Kelly Clarkson. **

_"I woke up today  
__Woke up wide awake  
__In an empty bed  
__Staring at an empty room  
__I have myself to blame  
__For the state I'm in today  
__And now dying  
__Doesn't seem so cruel  
__And oh, I don't know what to say  
__And I don't know anyway  
__Anymore"  
_She opened her eyes slowly and looked around. Yep, it was still the same. The same life in where she had let him leave her side, without doing anything to stop him. She sighed and rubbed her eyes a few times. Why did High School have to be so cruel? She'd have to face him day after day for another couple of weeks. The worst part was that she had never told him how much he meant to her.

_"I hate myself for losing you  
__I'm seeing it all so clear  
__I hate myself for losing you  
__What do you do when you look in the mirror  
__And staring at you is why he's not here?"  
_She put on her makeup slowly, trying to hide her puffy face. Of course, she could pretend that happy smile and everybody would buy it... not that they actually paid attention to her. She bit her lip, frustrated. Being with him had been starting to make her a better person, as corny as it sounded.

_······················································································································································ _

_"You got what you deserved  
Hope you're happy now  
'Cause everytime I think of her with you  
It's killing me  
Inside, and  
Now I dread each day  
Knowing that I can't be saved  
From the loneliness  
Of living without you  
And, oh  
I don't know what to do  
Not sure that I'll pull through  
I wish you knew"  
_She walked down the school's corridors. Of course, he had gotten her. She was beautiful, kind, nice, popular and gentle to everybody. And she hadn't been afraid to say whom she was in love with or showing it around. She gazed at her side, knowing that they would be there. He clung to her every word, every strand of her hair she placed behind her ear and every breath she took. Corny again, though sadly true. She shut her locker door close and rushed past them. It made her sick and, let's face it, jealous.

_"I hate myself for losing you  
__I'm seeing it all so clear  
__I hate myself for losing you  
__What do you do when you look in the mirror  
__And staring at you is why he's not here?"  
_She got into the bathroom slowly and stared at her reflection. She was everything she had dreamed of... in the outside. Only being with him had made her days better. Knowing that someone like him could feel something for someone like herself. She brushed her ponytail a couple of times, then rested her arms on the vanitory.

·························································································································································

_"I hate myself for losing you  
__And oh, I don't know what to do  
__Not sure that I'll pull through  
__I wish you knew  
__And oh, I don't know what to say  
__And I don't know anyway  
__Anymore  
__No, no"  
_"Why can't we tell?" he had asked, using his puppy dog eyes. She had shaken her head.  
"No! This is _my_ life we're talking about!" she had exclaimed.  
"It's my life too!" he had replied. He had approached to her, holding her hand and locking his amazing eyes into hers. "I want to be able to be seen with you!" She had looked down to avoid his hurt stare.  
"I can't, okay? If you want this, stick with my decisions. Otherwise, there's the door," she had muttered. He had sighed lowly, dropped her hand and walked out, shattering her heart.

·························································································································································

_"I hate myself for losing you  
__(I'm seeing it all so clear)  
__I'm seeing it all so clear  
__I hate myself for losing you  
__What do you do when you look in the mirror  
__And staring at you is why he's not here?  
__What do you say when everything's said?  
__Is the reason why he left you in the end?  
__How do you cry when every tear you shed  
__Won't ever bring him back again?  
__I hate myself for loving you"  
_Tears started streaming down her face slowly. At least, he had been gentle... as always. She fixed her short skirt and cleared a few tear stains from her top. The door opened and _she_ walked in, fixing her eyes on her face immediately.  
"Are you okay?" _she_ asked gently. The urges of telling her everything rushed through her mind as the girls exchanged glances.  
"He's a great guy. You're really lucky, Liz," she muttered. Lizzie smiled and nodded.  
"I know. My Gordo is perfect," Lizzie said. "Thanks" Kate gave her a small smile and walked out slowly.

The End.

**AN: Okay, guys, I'm back! Maybe not for long (3 more tests this week), but I'm definitely back!  
-LGFever and I lost the sheet where the chapter 13 for Autobiography was... we're still looking for it.  
-Well, don't really know what to say next, except that I missed this. **

Love ya!  
LyG4ever.


End file.
